Do You Admire Your Friends?

When was the last time you said a truly thoughtful complement to your friend?

We probably all do it sometimes, not very often though. The context, the situation happens and we feel compelled to say something in a moment. We don’t make it happen, it just happens.

Recently one of my close friends turned 40. We humans, put a lot of emphasis on numbers, so I thought “I should think a bit more about what I want to say to him”. So, I sat for a while, thinking what should I say…

Then.

An idea came to write down things I admire about my friend, big or small, no matter. Things I value in his character, things I wish I had more of myself in me.

I seem to remember Marcus Aurelius did something similar in his Meditations.

This time it was easy. I started to list one item after another, smiling and laughing along the way reminiscent of the good shared memories we had together.

Then it struck me. “10 years”! We knew each other for 10 years. A lot of things happened. It is ironic oftentimes we are focused on our futures so much, we don’t see our pasts being filled to the brim with stories. These stories are about us and people, our people, our friends.

Some time has passed, I didn’t know how much, perhaps an hour.

The writing stopped.

I took a bit of a break, then re-read and re-organised all the items so it makes more of a story when I say “Happy Birthday”.

I was about to call…but then…well… then I cried.

You see…I am lucky. I am really, really effing lucky. That list I wrote was long and I found many unique things that I appreciated about my friend. The reason I feel I am lucky, the reason, I got sentimental in that moment, is because I considered such a person, with such an admirable character - my friend, who also considered me such in return.

And this is just one person. I have a few people like that in my life¹, and I am afraid I don’t do a good job of letting you know how much I value you.

We should cherish our friends more. Hell, we, I should cherish our friendships more and remind ourselves and them of this blissful, lucky happenstance that we have met, connected and as the time moves on - we got each other’s backs.

To all my friends, wherever you are. I admire you (more than I know myself apparently!).

Thank you for being you.

🫂

Notes